by Ben Donaldson, Certified IFS Therapist
(estimated reading time: 9 minutes)
You know the feeling. You're lying in bed at 2am, and your mind won't stop. It replays conversations from the day, anticipates tomorrow's problems, and generates an endless stream of what-ifs. Or perhaps it's subtler — a low hum of tension that follows you through the day, making everything feel slightly harder than it should.
Anxiety isn't a character flaw or a sign that something is broken. From the perspective of parts-based therapy, anxiety is the activity of parts of you that are working very hard to keep you safe. The overthinking, the vigilance, the mental rehearsals — these aren't malfunctions. They're strategies that developed for good reasons, even if they've become exhausting.
This article explores how IFS offers a different way to work with anxiety — not by fighting it or trying to make it disappear, but by understanding the parts of you that carry it, and gradually helping them find new ways to protect you.
Understanding Anxiety as Parts Activity
Most approaches to anxiety treat it as a problem to be managed — something to reduce, control, or eliminate. Medication dampens the symptoms. Cognitive techniques challenge the thoughts. Breathing exercises calm the body. These approaches can be helpful, but they often miss something important: anxiety usually has a purpose.
In the IFS model of protectors and exiles, anxiety is understood as the activity of protective parts — inner figures that took on the job of keeping you safe, often long ago. These parts aren't pathological. They're dedicated, persistent, and usually exhausted.
What Anxious Parts Are Actually Doing
Anxious parts are trying to anticipate and prevent bad outcomes. They scan for threats, rehearse conversations, imagine worst-case scenarios, and keep you on high alert. From their perspective, this vigilance is essential. They believe that if they relax, something terrible will happen.
Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett offers a complementary perspective on what's happening in the anxious brain:
"I speculate that an anxious brain, in a sense, is the opposite of a depressed brain. In depression, prediction is dialed way up and prediction error way down, so you're locked into the past. In anxiety, the metaphorical dial is stuck on allowing too much prediction error from the world, and too many predictions are unsuccessful. With insufficient prediction, you don't know what's coming around the next corner, and life contains a lot of corners."
— Lisa Feldman Barrett, How Emotions Are Made
This helps explain why anxious parts work so hard: they're trying to predict and prepare for a world that feels fundamentally uncertain. The strategy makes sense, even when it becomes exhausting.
Overthinking as a Form of Protection
Overthinking — that relentless mental churning — is one of the most common ways anxious parts try to protect you. The logic goes something like this: if I can think through every possible scenario, I won't be caught off guard. If I can analyse the situation thoroughly enough, I'll find the answer.
The problem is that this strategy has no natural endpoint. There's always another scenario to consider, another angle to analyse, another worry to address. The part keeps working harder, but relief never comes.
Why Fighting Anxiety Often Backfires
When you try to suppress or fight an anxious part, something counterintuitive happens: it often gets louder. This is because the part interprets your resistance as confirmation that you don't understand the danger. From its perspective, you're being reckless — so it doubles down.
This creates a frustrating cycle. The more you try to control the anxiety, the more the anxious part escalates. IFS offers a way out of this cycle — not through more control, but through a different kind of relationship with the part.
Common Anxious Parts and Their Roles
While everyone's internal system is unique, certain patterns appear frequently when working with anxiety. As Richard Schwartz, the founder of IFS, describes:
"Manager parts (like perfectionistic parts or inner critics) work preemptively to keep you out of your body and away from uncomfortable emotions by controlling and ordering your life."
— Richard Schwartz, Internal Family Systems Workbook
Recognising these common anxious parts can help you start to differentiate between them — to see them as distinct inner figures rather than a single overwhelming experience.
The Planner
The Planner believes that safety comes from preparation. It makes lists, creates contingency plans, and thinks several steps ahead. It feels genuinely distressed when things are uncertain. This part often formed in environments where chaos was common, and planning became a way to create a sense of control.
The Catastrophiser
This part specialises in imagining worst-case scenarios. It jumps to the most dire interpretation of any situation: a late text means the relationship is ending; a headache means serious illness; a critical comment at work means imminent termination.
The Catastrophiser believes that by imagining the worst, it can somehow prepare you for it. It's often protecting a younger part that was once blindsided by something painful, and it never wants that to happen again.
The Perfectionist
The Perfectionist believes that if you can just do everything correctly, you'll be safe from criticism, rejection, or failure. It sets impossibly high standards and becomes anxious when those standards aren't met.
This part frequently develops in environments where love or approval felt conditional — where the message, spoken or unspoken, was that mistakes were unacceptable.
The Vigilant Watcher
The Vigilant Watcher is always scanning for danger. It monitors other people's moods, watches for signs of disapproval, and stays on high alert for anything that might go wrong. It struggles to relax because relaxation feels dangerous — a lowering of defences.
This part often formed in environments that were genuinely unsafe or unpredictable. Its vigilance was once necessary. But now, it can make ordinary situations feel threatening.
How IFS Works With Anxious Parts
The IFS approach to anxiety is fundamentally different from most therapeutic methods. Rather than trying to reduce or eliminate anxiety, IFS invites you into relationship with the parts that carry it. The goal isn't to silence these parts, but to understand them.
Turning Toward Rather Than Away
The first shift in IFS work is directional. Instead of trying to get rid of anxiety, you turn toward it with curiosity. This might sound counterintuitive — why would you want to move closer to something uncomfortable? But this turning toward is what allows something new to happen.
When you approach an anxious part with genuine interest rather than frustration, the part often responds differently. It's used to being fought, ignored, or medicated. Being met with curiosity can be disarming — in a good way.
Unblending: Creating Space From the Anxious Part
One of the key moves in IFS is called "unblending." When you're blended with an anxious part, you are the anxiety — there's no separation between you and the experience. Schwartz captures how this blending shapes our identity:
"Other parts only blend when they are triggered—someone rejects us, and suddenly we are awash in shame; a driver cuts us off, and we're flooded with rage; we have to prepare for a presentation, and we have a panic attack. We know that they're overreactions, but we have no real idea as to why we get so upset. And because we never ask inside, we just go around thinking of ourselves as touchy, angry, or anxious people."
— Richard Schwartz, No Bad Parts
Unblending creates a slight distance, so that you can observe the anxious part rather than being consumed by it. From a blended state, you might think "I'm so anxious, I can't cope." From an unblended state, you might notice "There's a part of me that feels very anxious right now, and it seems worried about the meeting tomorrow."
The anxiety itself might not change immediately, but your relationship to it does. You become curious rather than overwhelmed.
Getting to Know What It's Protecting
Anxious parts are almost always protecting something more vulnerable — what IFS calls an "exile." These are younger parts that carry pain, fear, shame, or loneliness. The anxious protector's job is to keep you from feeling what the exile carries.
When you get to know an anxious part, you often discover that it's afraid of what will happen if it stops working. It might believe that without its vigilance, you'll be hurt, humiliated, or abandoned. Understanding this changes how you relate to the part — it's no longer an enemy to be conquered, but a dedicated protector that might be ready for some relief.
What Lies Beneath: What Anxious Parts Protect
Underneath most chronic anxiety, there's something the system is trying not to feel. This might be old grief, frozen fear, loneliness, shame, or a sense of worthlessness. These feelings live in what IFS calls "exiled" parts — inner figures that have been pushed out of awareness because their pain felt too overwhelming.
The Vulnerable Parts Underneath
The anxious protector exists because these vulnerable parts exist. Its vigilance, overthinking, and worry are all strategies to keep you from dropping into the feelings the exile carries. In a way, the anxiety is a distraction — a very effective one.
This doesn't mean the anxiety isn't real or significant. It means that working with anxiety often involves eventually meeting what's underneath it. For many people, this is where lasting change happens — not by managing the anxiety better, but by healing the wound it's protecting.
When Protectors Begin to Relax
Something remarkable happens when an anxious part begins to trust that you — your core Self — can handle what it's been protecting. The part doesn't disappear, but it often relaxes. It might find a new role, one that doesn't require constant vigilance.
Schwartz describes how this process of checking in with parts can become woven into daily life:
"This kind of unblending doesn't have to be limited to twenty-minute sessions. It can become a life practice. As I go through my day, I notice how much I'm in my body—how much of my Self is present. I'll check my heart to see how open it is, feel whether my mind is also open or if I have a strong agenda or pressured thoughts, gauge the resonance of my voice when I talk, feel whether or not that vibrating Self energy is flowing..."
— Richard Schwartz, No Bad Parts
When this happens, people often describe a new kind of quiet — not the absence of feeling, but a sense of spaciousness. The mental chatter calms. The body releases. What emerges is not emptiness, but presence.
Practical Steps for Working With Your Anxious Parts
While deep work with anxious parts often benefits from the support of a trained therapist, there are ways to begin this process on your own. For a fuller picture of what this looks like in practice, see what an IFS session looks like. These steps can help you start building a different relationship with your anxiety:
Notice when anxiety arises, and name it as a part. Instead of "I'm anxious," try "There's a part of me that's anxious right now." This simple linguistic shift begins the process of unblending.
Get curious rather than critical. When you notice the anxious part, see if you can approach it with interest rather than frustration. What is it worried about? How is it trying to help?
Acknowledge the part's efforts. Anxious parts are working hard. Acknowledging this — "I can see you're really trying to keep me safe" — often helps the part relax slightly. It's being seen rather than dismissed.
Ask what it's afraid would happen if it stopped. This question often reveals the exile the part is protecting. The answer might be something like "You'd be humiliated" or "Everyone would leave." These fears point toward younger parts that carry old pain.
Reassure the part that you're interested in its concerns. The anxious part doesn't need to be convinced that its fears are irrational. It needs to know that you're willing to address what it's worried about.
These steps won't eliminate anxiety overnight. But they begin to shift the fundamental dynamic — from an adversarial relationship with your own inner experience to a collaborative one.
Ready to Work With Your Anxious Parts?
If you're curious about exploring your anxiety through IFS, I offer online therapy sessions for English-speakers in France, across Europe, and internationally.
Book a Free Consultation Get in TouchAbout the Author
Ben Carey Donaldson is a certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist based in the Fontainebleau–Paris region of France. Originally from Australia, Ben works online with English-speaking clients across Europe and internationally, supporting people navigating anxiety, overthinking, and the protective patterns that keep them stuck. His approach is grounded, warm, and psychologically literate — meeting clients wherever they are in their inner work.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can IFS help with severe or chronic anxiety?
Yes. IFS is particularly well-suited for chronic anxiety because it addresses the underlying protective patterns rather than just managing symptoms. By working with the parts that generate anxiety, and eventually the vulnerable parts they protect, many people experience lasting shifts. However, this is often deeper work that benefits from the support of a trained IFS therapist rather than self-guided practice alone.
How long does it take to see results with IFS for anxiety?
People often notice a shift in their relationship to anxiety within the first few sessions — a sense of more space or curiosity rather than overwhelm. Deeper change, where anxious protectors genuinely relax and update their roles, typically develops over months of consistent work. The timeline varies depending on how deeply rooted the anxiety patterns are and what they're protecting.
Is IFS different from cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) for anxiety?
Yes. CBT primarily works to change anxious thoughts and behaviours through rational analysis and exposure. IFS takes a different approach — rather than challenging anxious parts, it seeks to understand and build relationship with them. Both approaches can be effective, but IFS tends to work more with the emotional and relational roots of anxiety rather than the cognitive patterns.
What if my anxious part doesn't want to relax?
Anxious parts often resist relaxing because they genuinely believe their vigilance is necessary for survival. This resistance isn't a problem — it's important information. In IFS, you don't force parts to change. Instead, you work to understand their fears and gradually build trust. When a part feels truly heard and believes that you can handle what it's protecting, it often becomes willing to try something new.
Can I do IFS for anxiety on my own, or do I need a therapist?
You can begin exploring your anxious parts on your own using the principles described in this article. Many people find self-led IFS practices helpful for building awareness and shifting their relationship to anxiety. However, when anxiety has deep roots or is protecting significant pain, working with a trained IFS therapist provides the safety and guidance needed for deeper healing.
Related Articles
What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)? — A Definitive Guide
How IFS Works: Parts, Protectors, Exiles, and Self-Energy
What an IFS Session Looks Like — A Walkthrough for First-Time Clients
References & Further Reading
IFS Institute — Internal Family Systems Model Outline
1. No Bad Parts — Richard C. Schwartz, PhD (2021)
2. Self-Therapy — Jay Earley
3. Internal Family Systems Therapy (2nd Edition) — Richard Schwartz & Martha Sweezy (2019)
4. How Emotions Are Made — Lisa Feldman Barrett (2017)