How IFS Works: Parts, Protectors, Exiles, and Self-Energy

(estimated reading time: 7 minutes) 

The inner world follows patterns we feel but often cannot quite name: a protective reflex that appears the moment vulnerability surfaces, a familiar tightening before conflict, a sudden wave of emotion that comes unexpectedly from deep inside. These shifts are not random. They emerge from an internal organisation that has developed over years—sometimes decades—in response to lived experience.

Internal Family Systems offers a way of understanding this organisation with remarkable clarity. It shows how protective reactions form, how deeper emotional material becomes tucked away, and how a steadier inner presence can eventually guide the whole system toward balance.

This article traces that internal architecture: how the different parts of your psyche relate to one another, how emotions and behaviours become entrenched, and how you can work toward bringing harmony back to your inner life.

The Architecture of the IFS Model

IFS offers a working map of the inner world. It understands the psyche as a network of distinct processes that interact continuously, sometimes harmoniously and sometimes in tension.

Parts as Subpersonalities

In daily life, we shift rapidly between different roles or modes: a focused planner at one moment, a discouraged critic the next, then perhaps a calm observer.

IFS recognises these shifts as expressions of what are called Parts — each with its own posture, emotional tone, and history.

You might notice a part as:

• A tightening in the stomach before a difficult conversation 
• The urge to take control when plans become uncertain 
• The sudden heaviness that appears when old memories surface

Each part carries its own perspective, shaped by accumulated experience.

The Three Categories of Parts

While everyone’s system is unique, parts tend to fall into three broad functional roles:

Managers

Oriented toward prevention. They anticipate stress, manage risk, organise behaviour, and direct many of the strategies that allow us to function day-to-day.

Firefighters

Reactive and rapid. They intervene when emotional intensity breaks through the system’s usual control. Their aim is not long-term well-being but immediate relief.

Exiles

Tender, often younger parts of our psyche holding emotions or experiences that were once overwhelming: fear, shame, grief, confusion, longing.

These categories describe roles, not identities. A part may act as a protector for years, yet carry the vulnerability of an exile beneath that role.

The Central Place of the Self

IFS holds that beneath the activity of parts is a stable centre — the Self — capable of perceiving the whole system with steadiness and compassion.

The Self is not a neutral observer; it is the natural leader of the system, the place from which genuine harmony with parts becomes possible.

“In IFS terms, the key to mental balance and harmony is to access our seat of consciousness, which we call the Self. The plural mind revolves around the Self, and when parts lack access to its centrifugal force, they get into tugs-of-war and threaten to fly off in all directions. In contrast, they center like clay on a potter’s wheel once they have access to the Self.”

- Richard Schwartz, 'Internal Family Systems Therapy'

Protectors: Managers and Firefighters

Much of what people initially bring to therapy involves protectors — the internal patterns that keep life moving, sometimes at great cost.

Why Protective Strategies Develop

Protector roles develop in response to a person’s history.

When a person encounters stress, relational tension, or threat early in life, certain behaviours become ingrained because they helped the person cope at the time. These strategies often persist long after the original context has changed.

A protector may, for example:

• Keep someone constantly productive to avoid feelings of inadequacy
• Suppress emotion to prevent conflict
• Escalate into anger to create distance or regain control
• Detach or distract to dull an overwhelming sensation

These are adaptations, not signs of personal failure.

Common Protector Patterns (Perfectionism, Overthinking, Anger, Numbing)

In practice, protectors often take on recognisable patterns:

Perfectionistic managers

These parts attempt to ensure safety by eliminating error, anticipating criticism, or maintaining high standards.

Overthinking planners

They believe that if everything is thoroughly analysed enough, nothing painful will happen.

Anger-based firefighters

They create distance or protection when the system feels cornered or exposed.

Numbing or distracting firefighters

They divert attention—through dissociation, work, screens, food, or other means—when emotional intensity threatens to spill over.

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IFS helps relieve these parts of the burdens they carry, allowing them to move out of extreme roles and ease harmful patterns of behaviour.

Exiles: The Parts Carrying Pain

Exiles are at the emotional core of the IFS model: the inner children in us that were so overwhelmed by challenging experiences that they were forced to hide behind protectors.

How Exiles Become Buried

When a child or adolescent experiences something overwhelming—rejection, chaos, neglect, humiliation, or even confusion with no one to help make sense of it—the child’s system may not have the internal or external support to process it.

The vulnerable feelings remain, but they are pushed out of everyday awareness to allow functioning to continue.

Managers keep daily life organised so these raw feelings stay contained.

Firefighters intervene when those feelings surge unexpectedly.

Over time, the exile’s isolation can become its own source of suffering.

The Emotional Weight They Hold

Exiles may carry:

• The fear of abandonment 
• The grief of a relationship rupture
• The shame of having felt “too much” or “not enough”
• The loneliness of unmet attachment needs

Their stories remain vivid because they were never fully witnessed.

IFS creates the conditions for the Self to meet these exiles directly, without overwhelming the system.

“As you learn to access your Self-energy, you will be able to connect with your parts, and extend healing to them so that your parts can more consciously choose how to help you navigate life instead of overwhelming or burdening you.”

- Richard Schwartz, Internal Family Systems Therapy

Self-Energy and Inner Leadership

At the heart of IFS is the understanding that systems heal not through force or negotiation but through the presence of the Self — a relational stance that parts recognise instinctively as safe.

The Eight Qualities of Self

Self-energy emerges as a cluster of qualities:

• Calm, which slows internal reactivity
• Curiosity, which invites exploration without agenda
• Clarity, which recognises what each part is experiencing
• Compassion, which softens the system
• Confidence, which reassures parts that they do not have to manage alone
• Courage, which allows approach rather than avoidance
• Creativity, which helps discover new possibilities
• Connectedness, which re-establishes relationship internally and externally

These qualities do not need to be cultivated artificially; they emerge naturally when protectors feel sufficiently respected and safe.

How Self Relates to Protectors and Exiles

Self does not correct parts, direct them, or demand change.

Instead, it listens, recognises their efforts, and seeks to understand how they came to play their roles.

• Protectors often relax once they sense the Self’s stability.
• Exiles reveal their experiences when they trust that the Self can remain present with them.
• The system reorganises around this new centre of gravity.

The Process: From Awareness to Transformation

Although every person’s system has its own rhythm, IFS tends to unfold through a sequence of recognisable movements.

Unblending

Unblending is the moment when you can distinguish yourself from a part’s experience. Essentially, when you can recognise that 'this part of me is not the whole me.'

Instead of being swept up by a reaction, you can notice that:

“Protective energy is present — and I am also here, witnessing it.”

This creates enough internal space for curiosity and choice.

Befriending

Protectors soften when approached as allies rather than obstacles.

Befriending means learning what a part is afraid would happen if it stopped doing what it does.

This step alone can bring significant relief, as parts often carry burdens of responsibility they never chose.

Witnessing and Unburdening

Once protectors feel secure, the system permits access to the underlying exile.

The Self listens to the exile’s story — its emotions, images, beliefs — with steady presence.

This witnessing releases the frozen quality of the exile’s experience.

Unburdening is the moment when the exile lets go of the beliefs or emotions it has held in isolation.

Afterwards, protectors often reorganise themselves around roles that are less extreme and far more sustainable.

“As you unburden your exiles, it allows your protectors to transform, and you begin hearing more from those parts of you that aren’t so obsessed and driven—the ones who love being truly intimate with others, the ones who want to create art and move your body, the ones who want to play with family and friends, and the ones who just love being in nature. When you’re more Self-led, you become a more complete, integrated, and whole person. This is what healing means in IFS—wholeness and reconnection...”

- Richard Schwartz, 'No Bad Parts'

Curious to try it for yourself?

IFS is best understood through experience. I offer online sessions in English and French, supporting clients across Europe and around the world.

Explore whether this approach is right for you. You can book a free initial consultation or get in touch for more information below.

About the Author

Ben Carey Donaldson is a certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, meditation guide, and group facilitator based in the Fontainebleau–Paris region of France. He supports both English- and French-speaking clients across France, Europe, and internationally. He works with expats, international professionals, digital nomads, and remote workers, and understands the emotional complexity of living and working across cultures. He also works with locals––anyone seeking depth-oriented therapy that integrates psychological clarity with compassion and emotional nuance. His approach is grounded in IFS as a primary modality, informed by somatic awareness, trauma-sensitive practice, and contemplative insight. His practice offers a non-pathologising space for people navigating transitions, identity questions, loneliness, burnout, or the deeper work of reconnecting with meaning and inner coherence.

Related Articles

What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)? - A Definitive Guide

References & Further Reading

https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline

1. No Bad Parts — Richard C. Schwartz, PhD (2021)

2. Internal Family Systems Therapy (2nd Edition) — Richard Schwartz & Martha Sweezy (2019)

3. Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model — Richard Schwartz 

4. Greater Than the Sum of Our Parts — Richard Schwartz 

5. Self-Therapy — Jay Earley